Goal Setting as a Life Changer

by Tedd Oyler, JD

www.teddoyler.com

Successful businesses set income goals. Therapists set goals with the patient at the outset of any therapeutic relationship. Those of us who have participated in sports have established and pursued goals. Why is goal setting so common? The simple truth is that goal setting is used because it so routinely and profoundly works. 

Without some idea of where we are going – i.e. goals – then we are at best embarking each day on a random journey, a sojourn without destination.  Should some sort of satisfaction be found, the experience could not be duplicated. It would have been coincidence. There would be no way to discern the purported success, for it would not be any different from any other point on the journey.    

Some goal setting suggestions:

• Pick a reasonable time period to achieve the types of goals you are setting. Some goals may take weeks or months to accomplish – others can be worked on today.
• Why not respond to this challenge by setting goals nobody else would set for you, like parachuting or playing golf in Scotland? Be creative – you’ve only got one life to live, so live it. 
• Write the goals down. “Mental” lists of goals do not work - written ones do.
• Once the goals are written down, share them with a trusted friend or even a family member. Talking about our goals makes them more tangible, moving our goals out of our heads and into our hearts and actions. 

The Balancing Act

I suggest that you consider a goal setting approach that gives equal weight to each of six areas of your life. By setting goals in each of these similarly important areas, we seek balance and completeness. It is not so much that these areas can really be separated from the others as acknowledging that goal setting is more useful when targeted.

Physical

Concerning  exercise, rest, nutrition and the like. My goals in this area have included “drink more water” and “take the dog for longer walks.”

Psychological / Educational

Think of this area as including intellectual exercise and mental health. My goals here include “read more history” and “watch less television.”

Social

Here we emphasize those efforts made to maintain and improve friendships. Mine here included “increase my church involvement” and “arrange travel with friends.”

Vocational

This focuses us on highlighting our better job talents, our unique abilities. My list included “attend more legal seminars.”

Family

Here we admit the innate truth that family – good or bad – profoundly affects us and that we are just better off working on our relationships with family. I listed in this area “help parents as they age.”

Spiritual / Ethical 

This area focuses us on intentional “right” living and respects the need in each of us to act in ways that are in integrity with our belief system. My goals in this realm included “give more time to charities.” 

The Exercise 

This will only take a few minutes – so let’s get started:

• Get out blank paper and a pen.
• Think in terms of goals reasonably accomplishable over the next 3 years.
• Try to come up with at least two or three goals in each area listed above.
• Do not feel like you have to stop at but a couple of goals in each area; there need be no ceiling on your creativity. By the same token, do not make a list of impossible goals.
• Once the writing is done, highlight perhaps three of the goals you have written down that are particularly important to you and that can be “accomplished” over the next 90 days, and then start to work on these today.
• Share your list of goals with that trusted other and talk about the particular importance of the highlighted three.